Men and Women - How different are they?

"Men are not just Women with short hair. Give us some credibility!"

A female author wrote a scene with a male narrator and his male roommate. The first characteristic the narrator mentioned about his roommate was his eye-color. That feels creepy because it suggests a level of closeness uncomfortable to most guys. Later, the narrator focused on other weird details, like how buff the roommate was. It sounded like he was ogling his roommate. The roommate says “stop staring at me” and the narrator asks “Can I help it if I have such a sexy rommate?” The author meant that to sound sarcastic. But male readers assumed that the narrator really was gay.

Similarly, a male author wrote a story where a male narrator describes the passengers on the bus at some length. The narrator mentions some unusual details, like their ethnicities and the quality of their clothing. Virtually every male reader readily concluded that the guy sounded creepy and sinister. The narrator turned out to be a terrorist. The guys weren’t surprised, but many female readers thought that it came out of nowhere because they thought that details like “I was sitting next to a suited Sikh and a Nepali in a coat” were just scenery.

This is what happens if you assume boys and girls are very much alike. In fact, they're seldom alike. Let me explain:

Males and females generally have different styles of tone, language, nonverbal communication and preferred subjects of conversation. Especially at younger ages, males and female sound very different. I’m reluctant to use myself as a baseline male, but I know that I talk a lot of smack– that is, when I’m playing something like soccer or cricket, I let my friends know how guilty I feel about their certain destruction.

In terms of subjects of conversation, I think that men are generally less likely to talk about people outside the conversation than most women. Men are also less likely to talk about their social status (how others view them). Men react to social status, of course, but I feel it’s something that they generally talk about less. They may be quietly resentful that someone less qualified got the corner seat, for example.

This next one is a cheap stereotype, but I think it has enough validity to mention: sports! Many, many men are diehard fans of at least one team. I think that watching sports serves one main purpose for men: it’s a nice way to socialize with other guys. 

Many men live vicariously through their teams. Men really care that their team wins– a national championship says something! (What, exactly, is less clear).

I’d also like to mention a quick psychological difference between men and women. Men more often think of things in absolute, rigid terms like weight and other measurements. Directions from men tend to sound like “Turn left on Gandhi Road after driving a mile down ECR”. Women are more likely to use landmarks, like “Turn left by the blue flats”.

My impression is that women are somewhat more likely than men to define people in terms of relationships, even if the relationship isn’t entirely relevant to the thrust of the conversation. For example, two of my friends (one male and one female) hate Kollywood actor Vijay. This is how they explained themselves:

Male: Vijay learned very bad acting in the field. He does not deserve his position.

Female: He’s treated his loved ones awfully. The mother of his children doesn’t want anything to do with him!

This is what three years of research gave me. If you know more about the two sexes, post it in a comment. Until next post, This is Yen Kiseki Cross, signing off!